Lost Souls

                                            Lost Souls
     There are realms in this world that have not yet been discovered. Some are lost and unable to be found. Yet, some are secret and yet to be discovered. I, on the other hand, am another creation. Some would call me a ghost. Some would consider me to be a spirit. Others would say I'm a lost soul with unfinished business. I believe in myself to be Tom, just simply Tom.
     I've been in a town known as, Daladen, for many years. I died here on October 13, 1981. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth. I can still sense the fear in my shaking body. I can still see the hurt in my mothers' eyes. I can still hear the scream and the sirens from that tragic night. I remember feeling my mothers' warm tears hit my cheek as she held me. That's what hurt the most.
     It was a dark and stormy October night. Lightening had struck the sky brightly, and thunder roared loudly. Fog covered the windows, making it harder to see. I remember seeing a deer leap out in front of our car in the road. My mother had tried her very best to dodge it, but when she swerved over she hit a semi. The car spun and the semi hit hard on my side. My mother had broken her arm and leg, but I died almost instantly.
      I was almost 17 years old, and it was two weeks until my birthday when the incident happened. I had my whole future to look forward to, but now that's all just a part of the past. By the time the ambulance had arrived, it was too late, and I had taken my last breath. I can't change what happened, though often I wish I could. I wish I had never wanted to go to that football game. That was more than 20 years ago. Eventually, I found a way to let go of the past. Now, I'm struggling in this world, trying to find a way out, but there seems to be no existing way. I could scream and shout, but no one would ever hear me, and no one would even know I'm here.
     It was a warm and very beautiful spring day in the small town of Daladen. The flowers of all different colors had reached their highest peak. The skies were as blue as the sea and the birds flew in all direction high in the sky. I missed being human more than anything. I missed feeling the warm sun on my soft skin. I missed feeling the touch of a live person. I guess I just missed being in my own skin. I feel so lost, and so lonely. It's as if I'm in a crowded room screaming as loud as I possibly can and no one even turns their head to look at me. It's as if a part of me has been ripped away forever. I missed my life of being Tom, the real Tom. Not this artificial creation I've become. I can't change the past, and I'll never be the same again. No matter what I do, this is how it'll all be for the rest of eternity, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
     I walked with a quick pace, my head was down and my hands were inside my pockets. It was early in the morning and not many people had roamed the streets. Every morning I had walked a tail through the woods to see the sunrise. I had been doing it since I was a little boy. It was somewhat pleasant for me. It let me escape from everything. It was a very beautiful place, and it let me clear my thoughts. The trail wasn't very long, 5 minutes at most. It led to a medium sized hill that was covered in flowers. Every season the hill would change. In the spring it would be foggy and misted in rain and blossomed in flowers. The smell was fresh and sweet. In the summer the grass would become longer and the flowers would grow tall and willow over. Yet, the smell would then become more down-sized, the air would smell like nothing to me. In the fall the flowers would die and leaves would crunch under my feet. It would become very open and the smell would become very odd, but I loved it. In the winter the hill seemed magical. Snow would cover the hill and the woods would surround me. It was cold and the smell was bitter, but for some reason, I'd still come there every day. No one knew about the place but me, and I thought of it as of my own. It was my own secret get-away.
     I was about half-way up the hill when I noticed something in the distance. Right by the blossomed spring tulips was a girl. It struck out to be a bit odd for me because I had never saw another person in this place before. Yet, sitting there in the blanket of fresh morning dew, there she was. Her blond hair blew softly in the light wind. She had high cheek bones, and a gorgeous body figure. She looked so alive and vibrant, yet she had some sort of sadness to her, with a taste of mystery. She wore a white sundress with black flats. She was what most people would call, "the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on.", and she truly was.
     I began walking closer to her, becoming quite curious. I was about three feet away from her when she looked up and stared deeply into my eyes. She wasn't like anything I'd ever seen before. That was one advantage of being dead. I could be around a live person, and they wouldn't notice me while I watched them and observed. This time, it was different. This time I wanted this mysterious girl to notice me more than anything.
     "Hello!" she said with an extraordinary smile.  I froze. Was she speaking to me? No, that's just simply impossible. I'm invisible to the human eye. "Well, don't just stand there! Aren't you going to say something?" This seemed absolutely insane. There was no possible way she could have the ability to see me. "Hello…" I said nervously. "My name's Alley. What's yours?" she asked curiously. "Tom. You can just call me Tom." I really didn't know what else to say. "Well, hello there Mr. ,"Just Call Me Tom.", what brings you here this early?" she asked. "I come here a lot. Actually, I usually come here every morning. What about you? What brings you here this early? I've never seen anyone else up here before." I asked anxiously. "Well, I'm actually just a passer-by. I've only been up here a couple of times within my life time. You can sit here with me if you want?" she said. "Oh I see.  Okay, sure I'll sit with you, I haven't really got anything better to do." I blurted. "Well what could be better than sitting here with me? Am I not good enough for you to talk to or something?" she said seriously. "I….I didn't mean it like that….I…" before I could even finish she cut me off in mid-sentence. "Tom, it's okay. I was just playing with you. Now come sit down." I nodded my head then I went over to sit with her. "So have you lived in Daladen your whole life?" she asked. "Actually, yes….I have. Have you?" I asked mysteriously. "No, I used to live here when I was little. I came back because my mother is ill, and I have to take care of her. The doctors say she only has a few weeks left. She's pretty bad off and it feels like it's not her. She doesn't even remember me." She said with a sudden tear. "I'm so sorry, that must be so hard. I couldn't imagine what that must feel like." I said to try to comfort her. "It's okay, I'll be fine." She said softly. I didn't know what else to say.
     We sat quiet for a while as she wrote in her journal. I wondered what she writing about, and what she was thinking. "I used to come here a lot when I was little. Every evening I'd watch the sunset. It was the only place I felt safe. My dad used to abuse my mother, until he passed away. I felt bad for leaving my mother behind, but when I turned 12, I called my aunt to come get me. I've lived with her ever since. My mother called me over the years…but after a while that stopped. She began to write to me…but then that stopped too. This is the first time I've seen her since the day I left and she can't even remember me. I feel so alone." She said. "Seems like you've had a hard life. I know how that feels…to be alone. It's not easy. In time you'll feel better. I promise." I said. "Thanks Tom. That really does mean a lot. It's nice having someone to talk to around here." She said with a shy smile. "Yeah,…it's nice." I said. "You know Tom, you have really beautiful green eyes. Your dark hair and pale skin make them look….magical." she said. "Don't be silly, my eyes aren't near as beautiful as yours are. I've always wanted blue eyes." I said smiling. That was the first time I'd smiled in a while. "Thanks Tom, that was sweet of you to say. Well anyways, I better get going because I have things to do in town. Maybe we could meet here again tomorrow and talk more? I usually come here in the evenings but I'll be here again in the morning. Will you be here?" She asked. "Yes, I'll be here. I come here every morning." I said. "Okay well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." She said. "Okay." I said with a smile. She smiled back and walked away.
     I sat at the sunrise for a while longer. How did she see me? Did I appear as a normal person to her? What did she think of me? Did she like me? Did she think I was weird? What would happen if hugged her tomorrow? Would I be able to hold her hand without her noticing I'm not human? Will she even be here tomorrow? Was she dead too? This all seemed so strange to me and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Only time would be able to tell this strange event.
     That night as I laid in bed under a bridge, I watched the stars. Something about the way they shined, something about the way they were so delicate and beautiful , reminded me of Alley. I couldn't get her out of my head. She was like my new addiction. There was just something about her that made her so different. I didn't know what it was yet, but I was planning on discovering it. Her smile, her voice, her beauty, her sweet smell, there was just something about her. Why did the stars remind me of her? Why won't she escape my mind? What was so special about her that made me so interested in her? Why am I thinking of her so much? Is she thinking of me too? What is this strange feeling I have about her? Why am I so nervous around her? Time passed by, and I finally realized how late it had been. I closed my eyes with the thought of her in my head and I fell asleep smiling.
   "Dear Diary,
      I finally saw him. The boy I've dreamed about for the past month is actually real. I knew it wasn't an illusion. He was really there. A part of me wanted to believe he was simply too good to be true. No, he was actually there. I met him on the hill. I saw him walking up it long before he was standing in front of me, but I pretended I hadn't noticed him until he was in front of me. His dark hair shimmered in the sunlight. Every time his delicate green eyes stared deeply into mine, it gave me this rush. His voice was so beautiful. He was special, and very different from the others. There was something about him that seemed odd. It felt like he was crying out for help. Somehow, I think he needs me. I'm going to figure this all out soon. Maybe I'm just going crazy. How did I dream of this mysterious guy every day for the past month, and discover that he's actually real? It all seemed so strange to me. Something must of brought us together. Somehow, I need him and he needs me, but how? I'm going to meet him again tomorrow. Maybe I'll figure it all out soon.    
                                                                                                                       Love,   
                                                                                                  Alley"
                                                                                                                                          
     The next morning was just as beautiful as the morning before. I woke up and got prepared for seeing Alley again. I was a bit nervous and I wanted to get there before she did. After I was ready, I quickly took off into the early morning sunrise. The air was crisp and warm. The wind blew gently on my cheek. By the time I had reach the hill, I saw Alley sitting by a willow tree on the left side of the hill. She arrived before I had. I wonder how long she's been there? She wore a loose black and pink dress with white flip-flops. Her blond hair was placed on her right shoulder in a braid. She looked just as beautiful as the first time I'd seen her. She hadn't noticed me yet so before she looked up, I picked  a lily from the hillside and put it behind my back. As I walked closer to her, she noticed me and looked up. She smiled and said, "What took you so long?" I could feel my cheeks getting warm. " I didn't think you'd be here this early. This is for you." I reach her the flower and she had a big grin on her face. "It's beautiful Tom, I love it! I'll keep it forever even if it dies." She said happily. I sat next to her as she put the flower in her hair.
     Suddenly, her smile started to fade and a tear steamed down her cheek. I was hesitant to ask her what was wrong but I did anyway. "What's wrong?" I asked as I whipped away her tears. "My mother, she died last night. The doctors said it'd be weeks but she was so far gone…." She couldn't finish her sentence. She started to burst into tears. "Alley, I'm so sorry. I know I can't make it any better but I don't like seeing you like this. Would your mother like seeing you like this? It's not your fault. At least she isn't in pain anymore. I just don't know what to say." I said. "Thanks Tom. I just feel so lost without her. I think of our memories…the good and the bad…and I can't help but cry because I miss her. Knowing that I'll never see her again is the part that hurts the most. She was all I had. My aunt doesn't want me anymore. I feel so alone because I have no one. I never should of left her." She said with tear-filled eyes. "Alley, I honestly don't know what to say because nothing is going to make you feel any better. I do know one thing though, and you're wrong. You're not alone Alley. You have me. I'll always be here for you no matter what. I promise." I said as she began to smile. "Really?" She asked. "Yes. Really." I said with a smile. She leaned in to give me a hug. I backed away. "What is it? Why won't you hug me?" She asked. "I…uhmmm…It's not you. It's me. I can't explain it now but in time you'll understand." I said nervously. "Uhmm …Okay?" She said oddly. I wanted to hug her more than anything, but I just couldn't. If I did, she might know.
     Months passed by and Alley and I became closer every day. I was so thankful I'd met her. She was my first priority. I put her first before anything and I was always there for her. I helped her get over her mothers' death and eventually she was back to being herself again. We'd laugh about the stupidest things and we'd tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. I still didn't touch her. I was afraid to. If she finds out I'm not human then she may hate me. I didn't want to lose her. I thought of her all the time. I just couldn't help but to smile every time I saw her. She made me happy. She made me feel….alive. I haven't felt that way in a very long time. It was something I desperately needed. I needed her. I think I loved her. No, I knew I loved her. The question that always burned in the back of my mind was….Does she feel the same?
     One night we were sitting in the park. No one was there but us. The Autumn leaves were beginning to fall and the ground was soft and moist. As we sat on the park bench I kept my distance so I wouldn't touch her. She was looking at the night sky and she seemed unusually quiet. "What are you thinking?" I asked as she kicked her feet back and forth. "The stars, they remind me of you." She said while smiling. "Really? Why's that?" I asked as I thought of the night I was under the bridge and thought the same thing about her. "I'm not sure. They just do." She said. We sat in silence for a while because I didn't know what else to say. "You know Tom, I've been thinking." She said as she looked up. "Yeah? About what?" I asked curiously. "Well, I've realized something over the last few months. I've realized that I'm finally happy. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. It's all because of you. I need you, Tom. I can't stop thinking about you. I…I love you. I've felt this way for a while, but I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same." She put her head down in embarrassment. "Wow. I can't believe you're telling me this. I'm stunned. I'm stunned because I feel the exact same way. I love you too Alley." I said as my cheeks began to feel  hot. "I can't believe it… I'm so happy that I don't even know what to say." She looked over at me and gave me a smile that made me feel like a million bucks. She slid her hand over next to mine and I wanted to jerk away but I couldn't this time. If there was any moment for her to discover I wasn't human, then that was the perfect time. I couldn't believe it. Her hand on mine felt perfectly normal. It was as if I was really human.
     That night I decided to show her something. "Okay now, before we get there, you're going to have to put on a blind fold." I said . " Tom, we're standing in the middle of the street at midnight and you're wanting me to put on a blind fold?" she said. "Yes, I do. Don't worry. You'll be fine. I promise. Trust me." I said to convince her. "Okay Tom, I'll trust you. Go ahead." I put the blind fold on her and led her up the road all the way to the bridge where I'd slept at the night when I first thought of Alley. I led her down the rocks and close to the water. The fog misted over the valley and the water. Leaves were covering the waters top and the grass in the valley was tall and yellow. There was a rose petal bush next to us. There was only one single live rose on the vine, so I picked it. We sat down next to the water and I took off her blind fold.
     "Open your eyes." I whispered into her ear. "Wow! This place is beautiful. Where'd you find it?" She asked with a smile as she took my hand. "This is the place where I first thought about you. I fell asleep smiling because I was thinking of you." She looked over at me and put her arms around me. I put my arms around her and we stayed that way for a while. That was a hug that was long overdue. "Oh, I almost forgot, this is for you." I handed her the rose and she smelled it. "I'm defiantly keeping this forever." She smiled and held on to the rose. "Will you keep me forever?" I asked as I looked into her eyes. "No. I won't. I don't just want to keep you forever…I want to keep you longer than forever." I couldn't help but smile the biggest smile I've ever smiled before. We both laid down and looked at the stars. Her body next to mine felt so right. She put her head on my chest and held on to me. I wanted that moment to last forever.
     Time past by and after a while she let go of me and looked up. She leaned in and gave me a kiss. Her lips on mine felt so…amazing. The warmth of her soft lips pressed against mine felt absolutely perfect. I could feel my body begin to shake. I was so nervous. I knew she could tell but didn't stop. I didn't want her to and I think she knew that too. I loved her so much, she couldn't even begin to imagine the depths of my love for her.
     All of a sudden, my lips were numb. I could no longer feel her. My whole body grew numb. I opened my eyes and she stopped kissing me. "Tom?" she asked with a strange look on her face. I said her name, but it was like she couldn't hear me. I tried to reach for her hand but she couldn't feel me either. I noticed something. Her hand was no longer on my chest. Her hand was through my body touching the ground. I stood up to see if I had a reflection in the water. There was nothing there. I knew what was happening. I thought to myself "No! Not now! This can't be!" I began to cry. I yelled and I screamed but she couldn't hear me. It was no use. Was she the missing piece I needed to escape from this world? Was love what I needed to find? I looked over at Alley. She was down on her knees with her hands over her face. She was crying. "What's happening? This can't be a dream. He was real! I know he was. Come back! Tom come back! You promised! You promised you'd keep me forever! You said you'd never leave me. Tom.. I need you! Where'd you go?" She was crying and screaming and hitting the ground. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. That was by far the hardest thing I've ever experienced.  I could feel tears gushing out of my eyes. Even if she couldn't hear it, I had to say it one last time. "Alley, I love you." I could see her tears dripping down as she held onto the rose. I could feel my body fading away. I didn't even get to say my last good-bye.
    Months passed by…at least it felt like months. I wasn't really sure. I had been trapped in a dark room since the night I lost Alley. Her memory burns in the back of my mind like a torturing flame. I've cried so much that my eyes sting. I don't know what to do without her. I feel so lost and alone. I'm not sure where I'm at or what happened. I'm so confused. I need answers, but most of all, I need Alley.
    " Dear Alley,
         I most certainly know that you're lost and confused right now. I'm going to explain a few things. Firstly, Tom was real and he did not leave you intentionally. You see, Tom is very special. He has a gift that is yet to be unleashed. Tom will discover his gift with my help and power. I needed him here with me. I'm giving him time to cope with losing you. If you ever want to see Tom again, you will listen to me very closely. As of now, Tom is closer than what you may think. He is still here but he is in an unknown reality. As for you Alley, there are some things about Tom you didn't know. He died long ago. You're the only one who has the gift of being able to see him, besides myself and the others here. You have a gift of seeing Lost Souls. That would explain the dreams you've had of Tom before you even met him. You can sense things before they happen. It could be in a dream or thoughts. You sensed that you needed him. Well you do Alley. You need him and he needs you. Together, you and him will discover your secret power. I did not bring the two of together but fate did. From the date of birth, the both of you were always meant to be together. Not just for love, but for defeat. You must defeat the evil souls in this unknown reality. You must do this together. When a gifted mortal falls in love with a gifted lost soul, they form a power that is very strong. The strongest of all powers here. After the two of you have been apart for a while, you form special abilities. It will only work if he loves you and you still love him. You may be able to communicate with each other through the mind or through dreams. The only way for you to ever see Tom again is for you to find him. It is possible and I would like to help you and tell you where to find him but I'm afraid you must do that on your own. Good Luck.
                                                  Sincerely,
                                          The Forgotten Lost Soul"
          
        To be continued……